Beatitudes Admin Dinner Party

NEW STUFF :: TONIGHT :: 25 RANDOM :: ARTIST :: CATEGORIZED :: 500 E-Z :: CHORDS QUICK :: CHORDS EXTENSIVE :: RC DASH
This was our second viral YouTube video ever. The song was conceived around a dinner table full of, ahem, older friends. The enchilada dish was exquisitely and lovingly prepared. At a table of 8 we had the following medically necessary diet restrictions: Gluten-free, Lactose-free, no alcohol, need for Beano, low sodium, low carb, no sugar. A song was born as we passed around the Beano, Lactaid, Pepcid AC and gluten-free, alcohol-free beer.
lyrics
[Intro - You know Dasher...] 
I made [Am7] turkey and [Bm] stuffing and [D7] hot mashed po-[G]-tatoes 
[Am7] Yams and a [Bm] ham and some [D7] fried green to-[G]-matoes 
[Em] But I [B7] had for-[Em]-got 
What my [D] friends could have or have [D7] not: 



[verse - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer] 
[G] David could not eat cheddar 
Cuz it clashes with his [D7] meds 
Scott's on a low carb diet 
Couldn't sample any [G] breads 

[verse - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer] 
[G] Michelle could not eat onions 
cuz they filled her up with [D7] gas 
Nina could not have eggnog 
cuz it knocked her on her [G] ass 

[bridge - Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[C] I made Martha [G] Stewart's tart 
[C] Sweet and [D7] high-[G]-falutin' 
[D7] that 6 people could not eat 
[Em7] cuz it contained [D7] gluten 

[verse - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer] 
[G] Donna could not have shellfish 
or she would asphyxi-[D7]-ate 
There wasn't one damn item 
that could stay on Jonathan's [G] plate 

[bridge - Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[Am7] My souffle was a [Bm] masterpiece,
[D7] so light and so [G] airy 
[Am7] But my guests couldn't [Bm] eat it up
cuz [D7] no one there ate [G] dairy 

[Em] I broke [B7] down and [Em] wept: 
If you're [D] vegan, then why'd you [D7] accept? 

[verse - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer] 
[G] Rick got on his podium 
on and on and on he [D7] went 
about the evils of sodium [plus how!] 
He's lactose intoler-[G]-ant
Bergam was prone to bloating 
Couldn't eat the [D7] broccoli 
Nina gets acid reflux 
Everytime she looks at [G] me 

[bridge - Then one foggy Christmas Eve]
[C] When I put the [G] turkey down 
[C] JonSchilling [A7] had to [G] say 
[D7] "Ever since the world began, 
I [Em7]  can't eat no [D7] tryptophan" 

[verse - Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer] 
[G] Everybody at the table 
Was getting up in years, you [D7] see 
So we skipped the meal all together 
And talked about our [G] surgeries
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